Food and exercise. For so many people, one is treated as indulgence and the other as punishment. Want that piece of cake? Better run super long tomorrow. Ordered the chicken alfredo instead of that boring ass salad? Better plan for extra gym time in the morning. Have guilt after over-doing it with x, y or z? Better cut those foods out entirely as to not be tempted - oh, and sign up for a marathon while you're at it.
It's bullshit, but unfortunately, it's an unhealthy mindset and relationship that so many of us have endured. We make promises to get in shape for the summer or after the holidays. We make excuses as to why we're not where we want to be. We indulge and then we punish. We move our bodies too often and to the extreme. We don't eat all day to justify cheese and crackers at night. We restrict all week so as to "fully enjoy" our weekends. We believe diets work long term (they don't). We believe our bodies can keep up with the extremes of our work outs (it can't).
The only (and simple) way to break this viscous mindset and poor relationship with food and our bodies is to listen. There have been times that I've really wanted something "less healthy", and in an attempt to "be good", I'd try and fill the craving with "better" things like nuts, fruit, veggies...you get the idea. The thing is: IT NEVER WORKS. I'd end up gorging on all these healthy things 1) because there's less guilt tied to them and 2) because I felt I shouldn't have whatever it was I was craving. What ends up happening is that after being filled to the brim with bird food, the craving hasn't gone anywhere and I end up reaching for the cookie or piece of candy or bowl of ice cream anyway. Now, instead of just eating intuitively and having a portion of the craved food, I found myself in a binge, feeling poorly, telling myself I failed, when this all could have been avoided by allowing myself to eat it in the first place. No "shoulds" or "shouldnts" - just awareness. The more I allowed myself to eat what I craved, the less likely I was to over do it with them.
If you put food into a "no" category, you are already setting yourself up for failure. You tell yourself you can't or shouldn't eat it, so if you find yourself nibbling at it anyway, you think "well, shit, I already failed, might as well eat the whole damn thing and start over tomorrow". BUT HEY. If you don't group foods as good or bad, and allow yourself to simply have them, you can't fail, and you'll never have to "start over" - you'll just be good. You will have killed the justification of foods. Killed them dead.
The same goes for moving your body. A long run and heavy lifts aren't always what's best for you, and the more you eat intuitively, the less likely you are to plan such strenuous work outs. If you wake up without guilt from the previous day's food choices, and you planned to run but JUST AREN'T FEELIN' IT, then you can walk, do yoga, or take a rest day and not mentally beat yourself up for it. No thinking back to the foods you felt you needed to "work off" or ahead to the ones you think you need to "earn" - just intuitive exercise or simple movements that feel good for your body that day.
One thing you can do to help get acclimated to this loosened grip on food and exercise is to stop planning. Stop planning your meals. Stop planning your work outs. This freedom allows you to tune in and ask yourself what your body needs. If you were to write out every meal, and then that mealtime comes and it doesn't sound good, you're back in a tricky situation of either forcing yourself to eat something you'd rather not, or changing up your meal plan and feeling like you failed by not sticking to it. Same with work outs; you can have a general idea of what you'd like to accomplish (ie. run, walk, lift, gym-cardio) - but let your body decide in the moment what it wants to do. You may start running and quit a mile in to lift instead. You may start arm day at the gym and realize your legs have all the squat feels. Be flexible with your plans and let your body make the decisions for you.
We can also all benefit from breaking the "rules". Have salad for breakfast and cereal for dinner. Have wine on Wednesday and tea on Saturday. Deep clean your house for movement instead of heading to the gym. Snack for dinner instead of making a big meal. This will all take some getting used to, especially to those of us who have been on restrictive diets, calorie counting, type-A planners, and control freaks. Let it all go, people.
I see you joining Weight Watchers for the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 10th time...say it with me now: diets are not sustainable. Tracking every morsel that graces your lips is problematic. Feeling guilty for eating something that freaking tastes good is torture. Killing your body to work off or earn food is a cycle you need to break. Food and movement are LIFE. They are fuel for the mind and body. Stop planning and start enjoying. Enjoy your body's ability to exercise. Enjoy the taste of sweet treats and savory dishes. Enjoy being in tune with your body, and the ability to eat and move accordingly.
Once you let the guilt go, break the rules, knock off the strict plans, and do things intuitively, food and exercise won't have a hold on you. You can eat the fried foods and sweets when you feel like it, and believe it or not, your body will crave the salads or the fruits or the nuts too. Your body will want to move in a certain way each day, and you have the power to listen and act.
Order the alfredo sauce and follow it up with a rest day.
Eat breakfast, lunch, AND (gasp) the cheese and crackers.
Walk when you planned to run.
Have cake for breakfast.
Call sexy time in the bedroom the day's movement (you're welcome).
Whatever intuitive balance you find will work, because it'll change day to day, meal to meal, snack to snack and work out to work out. Wake up every morning not knowing what the hell you're gonna do or eat, and let your body's cravings guide you there. It's powerful stuff, and the way to a naturally healthier life style. Now get to rule breaking.