Inspired by author Gretchen Rubin and her insanely helpful book Better Than Before, if you are able to categorize yourself as one of these two things, your holidays (and other things in your life) will become a guilt-free experience. All you have to do is ask yourself, and answer honestly, are you able to indulge moderately? Are you able to have one piece of bread from the basket? If you crave dessert, are you able to have a few bites or small serving and feel satisfied? Are you able to enjoy alcoholic drinks and still control your eating habits when the buzz kicks in? There are few who can, but for those of you who are out there, congratulations, you're a Moderator! You can breeze through the holidays knowing that you can look forward to tasting delicious and indulgent treats and having the power to stop once your taste buds are exploding with flavorful satisfaction. It's that ability to stop that sets you aside from us Abstainers. Which is without a doubt what I am.
Abstainers simply have to say no to the things they know they will overdo it with. And, before you think "well that doesn't sound like any fun and I will be totally deprived", hear me out. I'm an eater. I love my foods, and I love indulging. However, there have been too many times where having "just a few" tortilla chips turned into half the bowl. Or "one bite" of apple pie turned into seconds (or thirds). And don't get me started on my beloved almonds and cashews. Sure, these things are tasty, and I enjoy them, but I am not a Modifier. I am not someone who can have a few or a bite and stop. Those tastes send me spiraling into a craving for more, and before I know it I'm so full and guilt ridden, and that feeling is never worth the taste. So, after countless gatherings of over eating, followed by a promise to skip meals the following day and go run some crazy distance, I've learned to identify myself as an Abstainer, and just simply don't try to force myself into the Modifier mold. I can't just have some, and so I have none.
Saying no will not leave you feeling deprived, because you have the option to feel empowered instead. By abstaining from things you know will get out of hand, you are saving yourself a huge mental battle, and therefore preserving your energy. You are saving yourself the guilt you would feel if you over did it, and all the justifications you would have made as a result (oh, I ate way too much, but I'll just skip breakfast tomorrow). You are saving yourself a stomach ache, a weight gain set back, and a chance to fall off the wagon. How good will it feel the next morning knowing that you had the power to say no? And as a result, no gross bloating, no guilt ridden intense work outs, no negative self talk. View abstaining as a form of self care instead of a deprivation, and you will not dread your next holiday gathering or give dirty looks to the bowl of sugary roasted nuts. (I see you, you little bowl of deliciousness, but you're not gonna win this one!)
Keep in mind that you may be able to moderate some things and need to abstain from others, and also:
- Commit. If you are moderating how much you can have, stop when you say you will. If you agree to abstain entirely, stick to that commitment.
- Don't compare. If your friends can moderate and you know you can't, don't try to. You are not your friends, family, or co-workers. You are uniquely yourself, so plan accordingly.
- Don't give in to pressure. If you are abstaining from something, and your Aunt Jo baked 'said thing' from scratch and it took her 3 days and she nearly burned her arm off and her love for you is preciously encased within it...you're still allowed to say no. Your goals for your health are no one's business but your own. Their temporarily hurt feelings will survive.
- Enjoy! Don't dread the parties because of the food. Head into them with a solid plan, and stick to it. You will feel good about yourself, and hopefully use your saved mental energy to deal with the crazy dynamics of the people present.
