2025 was the year of the back.
And trust me, I’m just as tired of talking about it as my friends and family must be of hearing about it. So here’s to getting it all out one last time, and leaving pain in the past.
For over 10 years, I struggled with back pain. I suffered a lifting injury that left 3 discs herniated, and one with a slight fracture. And even though those injuries healed over time with the help of consistent chiropractic care and strengthening exercises, the flare ups and pains were endless. When I say I tried it all, I mean it; 7 chiropractors, decompression, laser & shock wave treatments, sports massage, dry needling, physical therapy, an my last resort: injections. It was this last year that put me over the edge when it began affecting my job, my ability to attend my kiddo’s volleyball games, intimacy, travel…you name it. “Bad back days” became part of my routine, and a disappointment to my family.
Surgery is always a last resort, and a tough decision - especially when you don’t have everyone’s support in your choice. But I felt I had no choice; my quality of life was lessening at an increasing rate. Even a sneeze could send me to the couch for the day. But, when your care team who also does all they can to avoid surgery tells you it’s time, it’s time.
I was absolutely horrified and angry when I found out my surgical option was a fusion. That was the last procedure I wanted so young, and the one I was told to avoid the most. But, due to my degenerative disc disease and the state of the disc causing these pains, it was the best and really, only option.
So I moved forward. Knowing that it’s a long recovery. Knowing it would get worse before it got better. Knowing how much my family would have to step up for my recovery. And, knowing my running days would be over.
I was a runner for 30 years. I ran everything from 5k’s to 50 miles. It was a sport that brought me so much, from some of my best friends, to mental release, to a shared family bond. It was hard to give up. But also a decision I knew I had to make if I wanted to prolong future surgeries and experience a life without back pain. So, the day before my surgery, I hopped on the treadmill for one final mile. I relished in how natural the movement was, and cried knowing that three decades of miles was wrapped up in this final one. My running shoes officially retired.
Surgery day arrived and let me tell you, I almost turned on my heels and walked right back out that door. The nerves and anxiety were real. I had nightmares for days leading up to the procedure, varying from being paralyzed to dying. I wrote my kids and husband “just incase” letters, jotted down will-wishes, and made it 10x’s worse for myself in my head. Not for nothing, I was warned that this was major surgery with risks - especially the nature of the operation, where they go in through the abdomen and do all the fixtures on the front portion of my spine. Funny how after having two babies naturally, I somehow still ended up with a c-section. And let me tell you, c-section mama’s deserve a damn award. After the pain I was in, primarily from my incision, I could not fathom having to carry, feed, and change a newborn on top of it. Hats off to you, mama’s. Really.
Those first few days of pain were unreal. Pain from the front straight to the back. Getting up and down was a small piece of hell. Narcotics left me with no appetite and more unwanted weight loss. I definitely had a few “what have I done!?” moments for sure.
And then, just over a week post-op, the pains diminished. I was able to increase my walks, get off the couch and out of bed with no assistance, and begin to think I made the right choice.
There’s a long road ahead, a lot to sacrifice, a lot of changes to make moving forward. But here’s to leaving back pain in 2025. Here’s to 2026 being the year I won’t have to think about chairs at restaurants, worry about hotel beds, wear a back brace to work, or put a damper on family plans. Here’s to hoping I’m someone that says “this was so worth it, I wish I did it years ago”. Here’s to discovering new ways to exercise, and remembering all I accomplished in my running days.
My friends and family have been nothing short of incredible. From traveling, visiting, cooking, keeping me company, driving me to appointments - they’ve made this all so much easier.
And to my husband, who, poor guy, thought I died in the OR after hearing a Code Blue for my surgical wing - thank you for stepping up in all the ways you are needed. He also has a wife who used to run marathons who can’t anymore, so send this man some beer and whiskey. 🥃
I wish this was something we were aware of sooner, so I could have stopped running and decreased my need for surgery, but we can’t move backwards. Now, I’m just excited to get my life back after what will be a very long 2 months of nothing but walking and rest.
So back pain, I send you off kindly with a middle finger 🖕
Cheers to 2026 🥂
